the truth of all of it.
Shan Fahey's November Newsletter
DISCLAIMER: I just want to start this one out by ~warning~ you that I am going to be more honest than I’ve ever been before. I’ve been a little too “symbolic” in my previous months’ work. I’m getting kind of sick and fed up with all these sappy reflections. We all know why you’re reading this... You want the juicy stuff.
Some people may be hurt after reading this newsletter, and I am okay with that risk. Sometimes being truthful hurts people’s feelings! But I think those people need to GROW UP. I think it’s about time I really talk about what this year has been for me. I have lost so much. People have mistreated me. I’ve lost connections with folks I believed would be life-long buds. I have been misunderstood. I have made mistakes.
I’ve never shared how I honestly feel about the events that have occurred , but in the spirit of autumn, death, and regrowth,
I lay it all out for you now-
And so after the storm, I run and run as the rains comes down.
I look up and up. I get on my knees and I’m out of luck.
I look up. Night has always pushed up day. I feel like you must know life to see decay. But I feel like I won't rot, because I can’t rot. Not this mind and not this heart.
And I took you by the hand. we stood tall and remembered our own land. Remember what we lived for? Now I cling to what I knew. I saw exactly what was true. But oh no more. That's why I hold with all I have. And I won't die alone and be left there. Well I guess I'll just go home. Oh God knows where… Because death is just so full and man so small. Well I guess I'm scared of what's behind and what's before…
I believe submarines, underneath deep blue seas, saw the flags: Japanese. No one will believe me. I ran back to the town bar and I told the people how I had seen the submarine and everyone laughed aloud.
I did spy periscopes dead of night on the eastern coast!!!
but, the police made them jokes! they told me I'd seen a ghost…Everyone thinks I'm a liar, and like, no one knows the truth. I feel like if it was a bigger fire I would be on the roof.
Ships will rust in Baldwin Bay. Let me go. No one trusts what I say, I don’t know. Oh my God, no one paid. Attention?
I feel like, overnight, my hair turned gray. oh. uh oh.
In the end it boils down to credibility and I had none, so I will die with the secrets of the sea. In that submarine.
The dog days are over. The dog days are done. The horses are coming
So you better run. Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father. Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers Leave all your love and your longing behind You can't carry it with you if you want to survive. … The dog days are over The dog days are done Can you hear the horses? 'Cause here they come.
again, thank you so much for taking the time to read my newsletter each month. It feels like the coziest place to share my deepest inner truths. I love you guys! <3